"Helping your children live together so you can live too."
"The fighting drives me up the wall." … "I get along fine with each child individually but when the two of them are together I can't stand either one of them" … "I don't know what will happen first--either they'll kill each other or I'll kill them".
How many of you have felt like this? Be honest with yourselves. Who can remember being at loggerheads with brothers and/or sisters? Who believes that sibling rivalry is something that only happens to other people's children?
It is a widespread problem that involves competition, envy, resentment and personal frustrations to name but a few factors. Where does it all begin? What is the worst about sibling rivalry and, conversely, what is the best about it? If any of these statements strikes a chord, then read this book. It is easy to follow, humorous and sympathetic, illustrated with amusing cartoons and the authors draw on personal experiences and research findings to show ways to teach children how to get along, "to lead rivals towards peace."
The information and advice is practical and down to earth and deals with, among other things, how to resist the urge to compare, how to realise that brothers and sisters need to have their feelings about each other acknowledged and how to handle the fighting.
The main thrust of the book is to treat your children according to their individual needs, rather than absolutely equally: "Children don't need to be treated equally; they need to be treated uniquely", say Faber and Mazish. "Instead of giving equal time, give time according to need" and "Resist the urge to compare" or "Avoid unfavourable comparisons" is their main advice. With such sound, down-to-earth wisdom at the heart of the book, it is easy to see why this was number one on the New York Times best seller list and it is a book which any parent affected by sibling rivalry will find invaluable. --Susan Naylor
About the Book "A very human book about one of the toughest problems parents have to handle." --Dr Benjamin Spock, author of the renowned Dr Spock's Baby and Child Care
About the Authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are internationally acclaimed award-winning experts who lecture and create group workshop programmes on adult/child communication. Their books have been printed in 20 languages and have sold more than three million copies.
Customer Reviews:
Avg. Customer Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Definitely worth a read I bought this book because my 1 and 3 year olds were killing each other daily, and I was at my wits' end. I found this book really helpful, and it has definitely improved things, and helped me understand what's going on. Of course a lot of it relates to older siblings, but I found that interesting too, and I'm sure it is a book I will return to for help over the years. If your kids' fighting is getting you down, buy this book!
Brilliant insight into sibling relationships! A wonderful and extremely easy to read book with great and usable tips on how to give your children the best chance of getting along together. No heavy 'text book' style here - it's not even a case of 'sounds good but how could I ever manage to put it into practise?'...
With great illustrations/cartoons, 'Quick reminder' lists at the end of each topic and a good index, it's easy to flick through and find just what you're looking for, without having to read the whole book again (not that having to do that... more info
This is for everyone, even if you don't have children! I have to disagree with one of the reviews regarding it's 'American' approach and delivery and for 'older children'. This book is enlightening. It helps you understand your own siblings and the way in which your parents dealt with rivalry. This book provides the data it collected from the focus groups or group sessions. They are honest and straight forward. Anyone who understands social research knows that gathering data in this fashion (especially when they conducted it originally) is more than appropriate... more info
Thought provoking and practical. I first read this book when my children were 4 and 6, and their relational issues were mostly centred on 'sharing' and 'learning to be gentle'. Many of the issues/situations covered in the book had not yet arisen in our family. Now that they are older, 6 and 8, and the older one has learnt that he can be vicious with his words, and the younger one manipulative with his emotional reactions I have dipped into it again, and it has proved extremely helpful. To start with it has helped me to reflect on my own... more info
